Thank You Florida

It’s just a two-day trip to Florida. It’s for FCA.
What could I possibly see during my brief trip to the Sunshine State?

  1. Location: Orlando International Airport
    Date: January 5, 2006
    Time: 11:35 AM
    When traveling to Orlando with your small child, don’t bother to parent little Johnny or Susy. Abandon all nurturing and parenting responsibilities. Instead, simply tether your child to an upper body harness, attach a leash to it and your kid will never leave your side. When you get home, the harness can double as a leash for Fido.

    Note: Little Johnny was sitting in the security checkpoint line with his dad. As he scooted across the floor, on his butt, his dad pulled the leash along. Yeah, I was in disbelief too.

  2. Location: Florida Highway 95 North
    Date: January 5, 2006
    Time: 1:04 PM
    After leaving the airport and traveling to our conference, my co-worker and I saw a large, bright yellow road side. No commentary is needed, I’ll let the sign speak for itself.

  3. Location: Orlando International Airport
    Date: January 6, 2006
    Time: 5:30 PM
    While waiting for my flight, the Southwest plane that was going to take us to Kansas City pulled up to the gate. I expected the doors to open and tired travelers to funnel out into the waiting area. What came out of the big metal door was a sobering sight…literally.

    Apparently it’s against the law to get drunk on any U.S. flight, disobey direct orders from flight attendants and disrupt the normal operating procedures of a domestic flight.

    Jack Daniels had a little bit too much to drink and was being belligerent in the air. As soon as the plane parked, police escorted him off the plane. He got a little mouthy as police detained him infront of everyone. But after the police officer pulled out his taser gun, pointed it at Jack’s chest and said “Do you want me to use this?” Jack settled right down.

    One last note…it was a slow day for Orlando Airport Police as 10 officers from two different departments eventually made their way to our gate. Most stood, watched, joked with each other, then puffed up their chests and looked “official”. Thankfully Jack was outnumbered and outgunned. He had 2 pieces of carry on luggage, 1 plastic bag and a really bad headache. He was up against 10 taser guns, 10 Glock handguns, 160 9MM bullets, 10 cans of pepper spray, 10 nightsticks, 20 sets of handcuffs and 10 pair of black black boots just itch’n to be used. I’ve never felt so safe.

Thank you Florida, can’t wait to see you again.

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